Negotiation is something most of us already do almost invisibly in our daily lives, whether running our own business or working for someone else.
From managing expectations about deliverables, to adapting to a project shifting mid-stage, to handling overlapping deadlines, many core negotiation skills are already being used.
Additionally, those with children inevitably find themselves becoming negotiators at home. Anyone who’s ever coaxed an overtired infant into bed, halted a toddler’s tantrum, persuaded a preteen to eat their vegetables or got a teenager to…well…do just about anything will know this requires the patience and self control of a diplomat. Persuasion, emotional intelligence, timing and tone are already, perhaps unknowingly, part of the personal operating system.
But the six million dollar question is: have you mastered the art of negotiation when it comes to your professional or financial goals?
The hard-hitting truth is that a clear pattern shows up among women when the scenario shifts from doing the actual work/managing teams or clients/developing service propositions to the more personal matter of advocating for themselves.
The way women approach negotiation often depends on whether they feel entitled to take up space in a conversation. When that conversation becomes about money, boundaries, workload, or value rather than everyday logistics, the emotional stakes change – and so does the person’s internal framing.
The fear of being viewed as demanding, unreasonable or greedy frequently enters the picture; and confidence and composure evaporate. Instead of responding from a proven position of competence and delivery, many women begin responding from a place of caution.
As a result, when freelancers, founders, or professionals try to ask for more money, set boundaries, or push back on scope creep, they often end up with the very opposite of what they’re hoping to achieve. This can look like:
– over-explaining themselves
– agreeing to things they don’t actually want
– feeling compromised afterwards
– quietly resenting the outcome
Chris Voss, author of Never Split the Difference, says “he who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.” But in practice, many people avoid disagreement altogether which removes the possibility of real negotiation actually occurring!
This is where research by Hannah Riley Bowles, Harvard Kennedy School’s senior lecturer and expert on gender and negotiation is particularly relevant. Bowles has closely examined why negotiation can feel so different (translation: challenging) for women, particularly when speaking on behalf of themselves rather than others. Her work has confirmed the ‘double bind’ that afflicts women. Women frequently carry anxiety not only over the economic outcome of asking but also the potential social consequences of it; there’s an added emotional weight (and even ‘penalties’ that men don’t receive in the same scenarios) because the perceived risk extends beyond the negotiation itself.
Something very specific often happens: women’s language reflects hesitation and the presumption of inconvenience before the conversation has even started. Phrases like “I thought I’d just ask…” and “if I could trouble you for a moment…” are not negotiation strategies. They are premature admissions of defeat: the terms are already being adjusted before they’re even placed on the table.
If any of this sounds familiar, let us help you course correct with 6 Golden Rules for Mastering the Art of Negotiation. Made up of 38 practical dos and don’ts (yes, we’re serious about helping you), these rules should genuinely help you reframe how you approach negotiation in business, employment and even personal contexts.





























